MAY BANK ATM FRAUD - EarthExplode.Org

Maybank Account Holder Please Read...

Whoever has the Maybank account number with ATM card, please be
careful when withdrawing money through ATM machine,

1. For the first time when you enter the right pin number, a
message "invalid pin number" pops up.

2. Then, when you enter your pin number for the second time, a
message "invalid pin number, please call this number "xxx-xxxx"
pops up.

3. If you call this number, you will lose all your money.

NOTE : if you encounter the above matter, please DO NOT call
the number. One of victim just lost RM ! 700.00 on last Sunday
and Maybank checked his
last transaction was on that day itself even though he did not
withdraw any money. Please forward this to your friends.

www.EarthExplode.Org

Good Old Fred - EarthExplode.Org Jokes

Old Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Old Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Old Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Old Fred died. He said, " You know,Old Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred,I'm sure there are words of inspiration for us all". He opened the note, and read,"Hey,you're standing on my oxygen tube!".

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Divorce Letters - EarthExplode.Org Jokes

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.

You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case...I'm gone!

Signed,

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!

Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.

Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week...and actually the first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl"...
but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.

My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed:
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.

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Upgrade System (upgrade from boyfriend to husband) - EarthExplode.Org Jokes

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:
Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:
Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support

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Memo on Training - EarthExplode.Org Jokes

Important Memo to all Employees
Memo to All Employees

In order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep alemployees well trained through
our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T) .

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please
see your supervisor . You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T list and our supervisor s are especially skilled at seeing you get
all the S.H.I.T you can handle.

Employees who don ' t take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) .

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).
Since our supervisor s took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don ' t
have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T , you may be interested in a job teaching
others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T) . This course emphasizes how to manage
M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T) .

Thank you.

BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)

P.S.: Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their lives,
just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T . I have already had my
fill of S.H.I.T.

Thank you for your time!

Sincerely

The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T)

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Cute Koala - EarthExplode.Org Jokes

A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint



when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,
"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"



The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala
where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry"
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.

A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
"What ' s the matter with you?"

The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked
into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
"Hey you!"



So the koala looked down at him and said,



"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude.....
How much water did you drink?!!"

For more jokes, please go to www.EarthExplode.Org

Apple Unveils New iMac

11 August 2007 - Apple® today unveiled an all new all-in-one iMac® line featuring gorgeous 20- and 24-inch widescreen displays encased in elegant and professional aluminum and glass enclosures. The entire new iMac line features the latest Intel Core 2 Duo processors and a new, ultra-thin aluminum Apple Keyboard, built-in iSight® video camera for video conferencing and iLife® ’08, making it the ultimate digital lifestyle desktop computer for both consumers and professionals. The 20-inch iMac now starts at just $1,199, $300 less than the previous 20-inch model, and the 24-inch iMac starts at just $1,799, $200 less than the previous 24-inch model.

For more info, please go to www.EarthExplode.Org

Apple Enhances .Mac

11 August 2007 - Apple® today announced significant enhancements to its .Mac online service, highlighted by the debut of .Mac Web Gallery, a new feature for sharing photos and movies on the Internet. .Mac Web Gallery lets members easily share photos and movies directly from iLife® ’08 with anyone on a Mac®, PC or iPhone™ in stunning quality. In addition, .Mac Web Gallery visitors can download high quality images for printing and even contribute photos using a standard web browser or email. Other new .Mac features include a tenfold increase in .Mac storage to 10GB, support for personal domains for iWeb™ websites and enhancements to .Mac Mail.


For more info, please go to http://www.earthexplode.org/

Apple Introduces iWork ’08

11 August 2007 - Apple® today introduced iWork™ ’08, a significant upgrade to Apple’s productivity software suite featuring new versions of Pages® and Keynote word processing and presentation applications, and introducing an innovative new spreadsheet application called “Numbers.” Numbers introduces the concept of intelligent tables on a flexible canvas, a new approach that makes it easy to organize information, create calculations, analyze results and make spreadsheets look as great as they work. Pages ’08 now features distinct modes for streamlined word processing and flexible page layout, a new contextual format bar and change tracking, and Keynote ’08 now includes text effects, transitions and themes that help users easily compose spectacular presentations, and Smart Builds with easy-to-set-up A-to-B animations that make impressive animations easy for anyone to create.


For more info, please go to http://www.earthexplode.org/

Apple Introduces iLife ’08

11 August 2007 - Apple® today introduced iLife® ’08, the most significant upgrade ever to Apple’s award-winning suite of digital lifestyle applications, featuring a major new version of iPhoto® and a completely reinvented iMovie®. iPhoto ’08 automatically organizes photo libraries into Events that let users more easily manage their growing photo collections, and iMovie ’08 introduces an entirely new way for users to quickly make movies and share them online. Both iPhoto and iMovie integrate seamlessly with the new .Mac Web Gallery, Apple’s new service for .Mac members to instantly create and host stunning online websites for their photos and videos. iLife ’08 also features iWeb™ ’08, with live web widgets such as Google Maps that let users create even more dynamic websites, and GarageBand™ ’08, with its new Magic GarageBand feature that makes it fun and easy for both musicians and non-musicians to create great sounding songs.


For more info, please go to http://www.earthexplode.org/