| A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of live frogs. The sign says: The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll TAKE one!" As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions!" 1. Take a shower. Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!" The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says: |
Monday 24 December 2007
The Exotic Frog
Impact of Job Change - Joke
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to
ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost
control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the
footpath, and stopped few centimeters from a shop
window.
ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost
control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the
footpath, and stopped few centimeters from a shop
window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and
then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that
again. You scared the daylights out of me!".
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize
that a little tap would scare you so much." The
driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.
Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been
driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25
years...
Gorgeous Model. Can you believe SHE was a HE?
This gorgeous model from China was a HE. Can you believe it?? Check out the pics below. ;)
So what do you think?? :)
So what do you think?? :)
Joke on Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect
to bring this to his Wife's' attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in.... P... E... N...I...S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
**PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH**
The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect
to bring this to his Wife's' attention.
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in.... P... E... N...I...S...
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
**PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH**
Red Head
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
Saturday 15 December 2007
Malaysian Judiciary Scandal - FULL VERSION!
This is the full version (14 minute) of the Malaysian Judiciary Scandal.
Transcript is available below.
Full Transcript:
(Parts are slightly inaudible. This transcript may not be entirely accurate.)
Lingam: The CJ (Chief Justice - judiciary’s No 1 post) said his relative is now the Agong, so he wants to stay on to 68, so, Tengku Adnan said - I told Tengku Adnan, yesterday I had a meeting with him - he said PM is already very angry with him … and … he said no problem, he is going to make you acting err… confirm your position as PCA (President of Court of Appeal – judiciary’s No 2), working very hard, and then get Tan Sri Mokhtar as CJM (Chief Judge of Malaya – judiciary’s No 3).
Ah, so we just keep it confidential. I am working very hard on it. Then there is a letter, according to Tengku - I am going to see him tomorrow - there is a letter sent to … ah … CJ - I mean Tan Sri Dzaiddin - that Datuk Heliliah, …er Datuk Ramli and Datuk Maarop be made judges, and he rejected that Dr Andrew Chew and apa itu Zainudin Ismail lah because Zainuddin Ismail who condemned your appointment and Tan Sri Mohtar’s appointment.
And then you also, it seems, wrote a letter for the remaining … confirmed as judges. As per our memo, I discussed with Tun Eusoff Chin and we sent the same memo to PM. I just want to get a copy letter that this has been done.
And then Tan Sri Dzaiddin said he is going to recommend six people for the Court of Appeal, but until today the letter hasn’t come to PM. He never discussed, but neither he has sent the letter to PM. He has not sent. So, I know it is under the constitution, for judges all, that is your job, Datuk, to send, but we don’t want to make it an issue now.
Ah, okay. Actually I told Tengku Adnan to inform PM, PM to call you for a meeting. But I will organise this so that Tengku Adnan will call you directly. And then I got your number, I will tell him to call you directly to for you to meet PM lah. Ah… So should be okay, then ar… correct, correct, it is very important that the key players must be there.
Correct, correct, correct. Correct, correct. You know that the same problem that Tun Eusoff Chin had. He tried to do all this and yet he has run out of soldiers. He couldn’t do it because many were from the other camp. Last time was unfortunate because Tun Daim was doing everything sabotaging, you know lah…
Otherwise how are things with you - everything is okay? No, don’t worry. You know sometimes Tan Sri Vincent said that half the time we are talking about judiciary rather than doing the work. But if I don’t do this part, my work will be useless. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ah, yes. Correct, correct, correct, correct, correct. Right, right, right. Correct. Ah. Ah. Right! Susah. You see he has now asked for six Court of Appeal judges, so that he can put his men before he retires.
Correct, correct, correct, ah, and then, ah, ah, correct, correct, correct, correct, correct.
Ah, never mind, I will do this, I will get er… Tengku Adnan to arrange for PM to call you and Tan Sri Vincent Tan for PM to call. You know why, actually, I am very grateful to Tan Sri Vincent Tan, You know why? I brainwashed him so much I even quarreled with him.
One day I went to Vincent Tan’s house, I fired him at night in his house. I said bloody hell, if you don’t do this who will do it? All these people, Tun Eusoff Chin, Datuk Ahmad Fairuz, Tan Sri Zainal all fought for …that. Then he called Tengku Adnan. Tengku Adnan he said, saya bukan Perdana Menteri Malaysia lah, you know. If the old man doesn’t want to listen to me, go to hell.
He quarreled with me. I said never mind, never mind, Tan Sri, you talk to PM again tomorrow morning to put Datuk Ahmad Fairuz to CJM. So next day morning he went and he called me back 9.30 that he said PM has already agreed. So I said never mind, we hope for the best. So I said no harm trying, the worst that it can happen is you lose.
Being the old man, he is 76 years old, he gets whispers everywhere, and then you don’t whisper, he get taken away by the other side. But, now the PM is very alert because every time he gets letters from Tan Sri Dzaiddin, he calls Tengku Adnan, he says discuss with Vincent, come and discuss. And…
Yes, yes, ya. Correct, correct. Ya, but you see although I know PM, but my views … I am a lawyer in practice… my views are… I go through them, I go through them lah.
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
And then Dzaiddin will go and tell them you went and saw PM and make a big issue out of it. Oh ya, I think so, I think so.
Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right, okay, okay. Ah. Ah. Correct, correct.
Now I heard Raja Aziz, Raja Aziz ah, two weeks ago spoke to my lawyer Thayalan, and another lawyer Anad, in the High Court - they have a case with each other. So, Thayalan and Anad asked Raja Aziz, how is Tan Sri Wan Adnan?
He said he is on his way down. But you know what is the shocking thing he said? Datuk Fairuz became CJM. He overruled everybody, in three months time, he is going to be PCA, and six months time, he is going to be CJ. He said I can’t take this shock. He told lah. Ha!
It seems ah that they are going to organise a campaign … they are going to organise a campaign to run you down. But you just keep quiet - don’t say anything. Don’t … even the press ask, you said I leave it to God, that’s all. Don’t say. I really like your message. You said I work very hard, what can I do? I leave it to God. That’s the best answer, Datuk, that you can ever give. Ah.
Yes… I will also get Tan Sri to remind PM to put a Tan Sri ship this year lah. You know, this will elevate you, you know.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Ah. Steve Shim got so fast, Tan Sri Chong waited for a whole year to get Tan Sriship.
Ah. My God, that’s why, ah. Correct, correct, correct, correct, ya, ya, ya, ya, right, right, right, correct, correct.
Don’t worry, we organise this. And if Tan Sri Vincent and Tengku Adnan want to meet you privately, they will, I will call you. We organise a private arrangement, in a very neutral place.
No, don’t worry, Datuk, I know how much you suffered for Tun Eusoff Chin. And Tun said Datuk Ahmad Fairuz 110 percent loyalty. We want to make sure our friends are there for the sake of PM and for the sake of the country. Not for our own interest, not for our own interest. We want to make sure the country comes out well.
Well, you suffered so much, so much you have done - for the election petition, Wee Choo Keong, everything. How much, nobody would have done all these.
Yes, you know. Ah. Good lah. You don’t worry. I am constantly working on this. I…
Ya, ya, don’t worry, don’t worry. We work hard on this er Datuk. And if Tan Sri Vincent and Tengku want to see you, I will organise it in a confidential place.
Okay, Datuk, all the very best. God bless you and your family.
Okay. Thank you, thank you. Bye-bye, bye-bye.
[Off Camera Voice]: Who is that Dato?
Lingam: Chief Justice Malaya.
[Off Camera Voice]: Who is that?
Lingam: Dato Ahmad Fairuz
[Off camera voice]: Oh Ahmad Fairuz.
Lingam: I put him up there. Don’t tell this, please. I cannot tell this to Manjit. And he is acting President Court of Appeals Number 2 post. He is next Chief Justice. He always says “I leave it to you.”
[Off Camera Voice]: I thought you were very close to Tun Eusoff Chin, Datuk?
Lingam: He is Eusoff Chin’s man, Eusoff Chin retired. But Dzaiddin hates Eusoff Chin, you understand? Ah..
[Off Camera Voice]: Because you know I…I…I..as far as I know you are very…
Lingam: Eusoff Chin and I are extremely close. Because you know…Yeah. Eusoff Chin in power, I can straight and get in Pom! Pom! Pom! Pom! But now Dzaiddin is there. So Dzaiddin is attacking our cases. That means what? James Kumar is aligned to Dzaiddin. But Dzaiddin is retiring in 15th of September. He is finished.
[Off camera voice]: Next year?
Lingam: So Dzaiddin really wants to go…Don’t worry. Dzaiddin recommended Malik Ahmad to be Chief Judge of Malaya. But we went and “cut” “cut” cut” cut” I and Tengku Adnan and Vincent told PM. I stop him for now, because he is anti-PM. We put Fairuz in. And we put…I told you three months ago he became CJM [Chief Justice Malaya]. He said “Don’t believe.” Then he got it. He rang up to thank me. And all that. He now acting PCA because Wan Adnan is sick. Right? This. Apart from law knowledge you need kow tow. Please understand that. You need to know the emperor. Knowing the law doesn’t give you
the winning formula, you must also kow tow to the emperor. Correct or not? So now I am working very hard. So he agreed to meet Vincent Tan and PM and…what you call Tengku Adnan.
[Off camera voice]: Do you think Vincent has an interest over PM?
Lingam: You don’t know about the history. Businesswise may not be successful. Robert Kuok is very brilliant. Lim Goh Tong is very rich. Vincent Tan, you know what PM say? He went to Averton he went to Langkawi. He said bincang. I want you to build a hotel here. His wife pulled him away. [Inaudible] He said Dato Seri I will think about it. The wife pulled him away. There is another [inaudible] cannot get a bank loan. Vincent there. Vincent, can you build a hotel? Ready for next Air show?
I want you do it in 6 months. `Datuk Seri, Don’t worry, I will get it done.’ He paid double the price to get all of them. A big loss lah. Then Solomon Island and Fiji and all, he said, Vincent go and invest there, he went and bought…[inaudible] the government factory [inaudible] you do this project a bit and cover up your loss. PM will do what he want to do to cover your backside.
[Off camera voice]: Vincent is very close to him.
Lingam: That’s right. Don’t ask… because Vincent has taken me to PM’s residence… the house … [inaudible]… Anwar’s case… the lawyers…Wee Cheong … [inaudible]. But I cannot go and talk to PM just like that and say promote this and that…
Because ah, he knows… I am a… but when PM calls me on Anwar’s case, I can tell him… he’ll listen…But if I go promote so and so, that means I got interest. So, I don’t do that. I use Vincent and Tengku, go and do that. I don’t f*** them up. They go
and do that. But I tell you this lah. Don’t tell in front of people, of course. Life, one thing go confidential wrong is dangerous. Ah. Never, never say…You should… never. Even though to PM. You should never say. I don’t know. I always say “I don’t know.” That’s all.
[Off camera voice]: Everybody… I think many people know. Even the son case, everything I talk the father, …. Talk until he agreed.
Lingam: You know me [inaudible]. But I never talk about it. Even the son’s case, I do everything. I talk to the father…Talk until he agreed. But if it is a big crisis that affects him, ….I can talk, he will listen. But if I want to favour somebody, that I cannot guarantee. Because my interest is not his interest. You know what I mean. Tomorrow invest your interest involving your father, I can come say this this this, you will listen. But tomorrow I appeal for me, you are not obliged to listen. Because you are a politician, PM. Politician is what is your interest, not what is my interest. But if I am giving advise on your interest, you will listen. On my interest, you will not. You must be careful about this.
[Off camera voice]: Datuk, I need to ask you this question.
Lingam: Ask me. Ask me.
[Off camera voice]: For a while now…
Lingam: Because we can talk behind these people.
[Off camera voice]… Actually, I think, you know, Daim has more equity interest in Berjaya than Vincent Tan, isn’t that true?
Lingam: Let me tell you something … [inaudible] was bought by Daim … [inaudible]. Later on he did some deals where Daim supposed to help him. One or two he helped. Supposed to give him some money. Didn’t give. Part was paid, part not paid. Later on Daim called up and he got paid.
Transcript is available below.
Full Transcript:
(Parts are slightly inaudible. This transcript may not be entirely accurate.)
Lingam: The CJ (Chief Justice - judiciary’s No 1 post) said his relative is now the Agong, so he wants to stay on to 68, so, Tengku Adnan said - I told Tengku Adnan, yesterday I had a meeting with him - he said PM is already very angry with him … and … he said no problem, he is going to make you acting err… confirm your position as PCA (President of Court of Appeal – judiciary’s No 2), working very hard, and then get Tan Sri Mokhtar as CJM (Chief Judge of Malaya – judiciary’s No 3).
Ah, so we just keep it confidential. I am working very hard on it. Then there is a letter, according to Tengku - I am going to see him tomorrow - there is a letter sent to … ah … CJ - I mean Tan Sri Dzaiddin - that Datuk Heliliah, …er Datuk Ramli and Datuk Maarop be made judges, and he rejected that Dr Andrew Chew and apa itu Zainudin Ismail lah because Zainuddin Ismail who condemned your appointment and Tan Sri Mohtar’s appointment.
And then you also, it seems, wrote a letter for the remaining … confirmed as judges. As per our memo, I discussed with Tun Eusoff Chin and we sent the same memo to PM. I just want to get a copy letter that this has been done.
And then Tan Sri Dzaiddin said he is going to recommend six people for the Court of Appeal, but until today the letter hasn’t come to PM. He never discussed, but neither he has sent the letter to PM. He has not sent. So, I know it is under the constitution, for judges all, that is your job, Datuk, to send, but we don’t want to make it an issue now.
Ah, okay. Actually I told Tengku Adnan to inform PM, PM to call you for a meeting. But I will organise this so that Tengku Adnan will call you directly. And then I got your number, I will tell him to call you directly to for you to meet PM lah. Ah… So should be okay, then ar… correct, correct, it is very important that the key players must be there.
Correct, correct, correct. Correct, correct. You know that the same problem that Tun Eusoff Chin had. He tried to do all this and yet he has run out of soldiers. He couldn’t do it because many were from the other camp. Last time was unfortunate because Tun Daim was doing everything sabotaging, you know lah…
Otherwise how are things with you - everything is okay? No, don’t worry. You know sometimes Tan Sri Vincent said that half the time we are talking about judiciary rather than doing the work. But if I don’t do this part, my work will be useless. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ah, yes. Correct, correct, correct, correct, correct. Right, right, right. Correct. Ah. Ah. Right! Susah. You see he has now asked for six Court of Appeal judges, so that he can put his men before he retires.
Correct, correct, correct, ah, and then, ah, ah, correct, correct, correct, correct, correct.
Ah, never mind, I will do this, I will get er… Tengku Adnan to arrange for PM to call you and Tan Sri Vincent Tan for PM to call. You know why, actually, I am very grateful to Tan Sri Vincent Tan, You know why? I brainwashed him so much I even quarreled with him.
One day I went to Vincent Tan’s house, I fired him at night in his house. I said bloody hell, if you don’t do this who will do it? All these people, Tun Eusoff Chin, Datuk Ahmad Fairuz, Tan Sri Zainal all fought for …that. Then he called Tengku Adnan. Tengku Adnan he said, saya bukan Perdana Menteri Malaysia lah, you know. If the old man doesn’t want to listen to me, go to hell.
He quarreled with me. I said never mind, never mind, Tan Sri, you talk to PM again tomorrow morning to put Datuk Ahmad Fairuz to CJM. So next day morning he went and he called me back 9.30 that he said PM has already agreed. So I said never mind, we hope for the best. So I said no harm trying, the worst that it can happen is you lose.
Being the old man, he is 76 years old, he gets whispers everywhere, and then you don’t whisper, he get taken away by the other side. But, now the PM is very alert because every time he gets letters from Tan Sri Dzaiddin, he calls Tengku Adnan, he says discuss with Vincent, come and discuss. And…
Yes, yes, ya. Correct, correct. Ya, but you see although I know PM, but my views … I am a lawyer in practice… my views are… I go through them, I go through them lah.
Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.
And then Dzaiddin will go and tell them you went and saw PM and make a big issue out of it. Oh ya, I think so, I think so.
Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right, okay, okay. Ah. Ah. Correct, correct.
Now I heard Raja Aziz, Raja Aziz ah, two weeks ago spoke to my lawyer Thayalan, and another lawyer Anad, in the High Court - they have a case with each other. So, Thayalan and Anad asked Raja Aziz, how is Tan Sri Wan Adnan?
He said he is on his way down. But you know what is the shocking thing he said? Datuk Fairuz became CJM. He overruled everybody, in three months time, he is going to be PCA, and six months time, he is going to be CJ. He said I can’t take this shock. He told lah. Ha!
It seems ah that they are going to organise a campaign … they are going to organise a campaign to run you down. But you just keep quiet - don’t say anything. Don’t … even the press ask, you said I leave it to God, that’s all. Don’t say. I really like your message. You said I work very hard, what can I do? I leave it to God. That’s the best answer, Datuk, that you can ever give. Ah.
Yes… I will also get Tan Sri to remind PM to put a Tan Sri ship this year lah. You know, this will elevate you, you know.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. Ah. Steve Shim got so fast, Tan Sri Chong waited for a whole year to get Tan Sriship.
Ah. My God, that’s why, ah. Correct, correct, correct, correct, ya, ya, ya, ya, right, right, right, correct, correct.
Don’t worry, we organise this. And if Tan Sri Vincent and Tengku Adnan want to meet you privately, they will, I will call you. We organise a private arrangement, in a very neutral place.
No, don’t worry, Datuk, I know how much you suffered for Tun Eusoff Chin. And Tun said Datuk Ahmad Fairuz 110 percent loyalty. We want to make sure our friends are there for the sake of PM and for the sake of the country. Not for our own interest, not for our own interest. We want to make sure the country comes out well.
Well, you suffered so much, so much you have done - for the election petition, Wee Choo Keong, everything. How much, nobody would have done all these.
Yes, you know. Ah. Good lah. You don’t worry. I am constantly working on this. I…
Ya, ya, don’t worry, don’t worry. We work hard on this er Datuk. And if Tan Sri Vincent and Tengku want to see you, I will organise it in a confidential place.
Okay, Datuk, all the very best. God bless you and your family.
Okay. Thank you, thank you. Bye-bye, bye-bye.
[Off Camera Voice]: Who is that Dato?
Lingam: Chief Justice Malaya.
[Off Camera Voice]: Who is that?
Lingam: Dato Ahmad Fairuz
[Off camera voice]: Oh Ahmad Fairuz.
Lingam: I put him up there. Don’t tell this, please. I cannot tell this to Manjit. And he is acting President Court of Appeals Number 2 post. He is next Chief Justice. He always says “I leave it to you.”
[Off Camera Voice]: I thought you were very close to Tun Eusoff Chin, Datuk?
Lingam: He is Eusoff Chin’s man, Eusoff Chin retired. But Dzaiddin hates Eusoff Chin, you understand? Ah..
[Off Camera Voice]: Because you know I…I…I..as far as I know you are very…
Lingam: Eusoff Chin and I are extremely close. Because you know…Yeah. Eusoff Chin in power, I can straight and get in Pom! Pom! Pom! Pom! But now Dzaiddin is there. So Dzaiddin is attacking our cases. That means what? James Kumar is aligned to Dzaiddin. But Dzaiddin is retiring in 15th of September. He is finished.
[Off camera voice]: Next year?
Lingam: So Dzaiddin really wants to go…Don’t worry. Dzaiddin recommended Malik Ahmad to be Chief Judge of Malaya. But we went and “cut” “cut” cut” cut” I and Tengku Adnan and Vincent told PM. I stop him for now, because he is anti-PM. We put Fairuz in. And we put…I told you three months ago he became CJM [Chief Justice Malaya]. He said “Don’t believe.” Then he got it. He rang up to thank me. And all that. He now acting PCA because Wan Adnan is sick. Right? This. Apart from law knowledge you need kow tow. Please understand that. You need to know the emperor. Knowing the law doesn’t give you
the winning formula, you must also kow tow to the emperor. Correct or not? So now I am working very hard. So he agreed to meet Vincent Tan and PM and…what you call Tengku Adnan.
[Off camera voice]: Do you think Vincent has an interest over PM?
Lingam: You don’t know about the history. Businesswise may not be successful. Robert Kuok is very brilliant. Lim Goh Tong is very rich. Vincent Tan, you know what PM say? He went to Averton he went to Langkawi. He said bincang. I want you to build a hotel here. His wife pulled him away. [Inaudible] He said Dato Seri I will think about it. The wife pulled him away. There is another [inaudible] cannot get a bank loan. Vincent there. Vincent, can you build a hotel? Ready for next Air show?
I want you do it in 6 months. `Datuk Seri, Don’t worry, I will get it done.’ He paid double the price to get all of them. A big loss lah. Then Solomon Island and Fiji and all, he said, Vincent go and invest there, he went and bought…[inaudible] the government factory [inaudible] you do this project a bit and cover up your loss. PM will do what he want to do to cover your backside.
[Off camera voice]: Vincent is very close to him.
Lingam: That’s right. Don’t ask… because Vincent has taken me to PM’s residence… the house … [inaudible]… Anwar’s case… the lawyers…Wee Cheong … [inaudible]. But I cannot go and talk to PM just like that and say promote this and that…
Because ah, he knows… I am a… but when PM calls me on Anwar’s case, I can tell him… he’ll listen…But if I go promote so and so, that means I got interest. So, I don’t do that. I use Vincent and Tengku, go and do that. I don’t f*** them up. They go
and do that. But I tell you this lah. Don’t tell in front of people, of course. Life, one thing go confidential wrong is dangerous. Ah. Never, never say…You should… never. Even though to PM. You should never say. I don’t know. I always say “I don’t know.” That’s all.
[Off camera voice]: Everybody… I think many people know. Even the son case, everything I talk the father, …. Talk until he agreed.
Lingam: You know me [inaudible]. But I never talk about it. Even the son’s case, I do everything. I talk to the father…Talk until he agreed. But if it is a big crisis that affects him, ….I can talk, he will listen. But if I want to favour somebody, that I cannot guarantee. Because my interest is not his interest. You know what I mean. Tomorrow invest your interest involving your father, I can come say this this this, you will listen. But tomorrow I appeal for me, you are not obliged to listen. Because you are a politician, PM. Politician is what is your interest, not what is my interest. But if I am giving advise on your interest, you will listen. On my interest, you will not. You must be careful about this.
[Off camera voice]: Datuk, I need to ask you this question.
Lingam: Ask me. Ask me.
[Off camera voice]: For a while now…
Lingam: Because we can talk behind these people.
[Off camera voice]… Actually, I think, you know, Daim has more equity interest in Berjaya than Vincent Tan, isn’t that true?
Lingam: Let me tell you something … [inaudible] was bought by Daim … [inaudible]. Later on he did some deals where Daim supposed to help him. One or two he helped. Supposed to give him some money. Didn’t give. Part was paid, part not paid. Later on Daim called up and he got paid.
Thursday 6 December 2007
How To Poison Your Mother-In-Law
A long time ago in China, a girl named Li-Li got married and went to
live with her husband and mother-in-law.
In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along at all
with her mother-in-law.
Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many
of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, the mother-in-law criticized
Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped
arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that,
according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her
mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappinessin
the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr Huang, who sold herbs.
She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so
that she could solve the problem once and for all.
Mr Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you
solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do".
Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a
package of herbs.
He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of
yourmother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious.
Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up
poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put
a little of these herbs in her serving.
Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you
must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with
her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen".
Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr Huang and hurried home to start her
plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the
specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr
Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper,
obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.
After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had
practised controlling her temper so much that she found that she al!
most never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her
mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and
easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law' s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to
love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives
that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find.
Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real
mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr Huang and asked for his help again. She
said, "Dear Mr Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my
mother-in-law!
She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother.
I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her".
Mr Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry
about. I never gave you any poison.
The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only
poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been
all washed away by the love which you gave to her".
THE MORAL OF THE STORY..
How you treat other people is exactly how they will treat you.
There is a wise Chinese saying:
"The person who loves others will also be loved in return. God might be
trying to work in another person's life through you."
live with her husband and mother-in-law.
In a very short time, Li-Li found that she couldn't get along at all
with her mother-in-law.
Their personalities were very different, and Li-Li was angered by many
of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, the mother-in-law criticized
Li-Li constantly.
Days passed, and weeks passed. Li-Li and her mother-in-law never stopped
arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that,
according to ancient Chinese tradition, Li-Li had to bow to her
mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappinessin
the house was causing Li-Li's poor husband great distress.
Finally, Li-Li could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and
dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it.
Li-Li went to see her father's good friend, Mr Huang, who sold herbs.
She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so
that she could solve the problem once and for all.
Mr Huang thought for awhile, and finally said, "Li-Li, I will help you
solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you."
Li-Li said, "Yes, Mr Huang, I will do whatever you tell me to do".
Mr. Huang went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a
package of herbs.
He told Li-Li, "You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of
yourmother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious.
Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up
poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put
a little of these herbs in her serving.
Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you
must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don't argue with
her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen".
Li-Li was so happy. She thanked Mr Huang and hurried home to start her
plot of murdering her mother-in-law.
Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Li-Li served the
specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Mr
Huang had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper,
obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.
After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Li-Li had
practised controlling her temper so much that she found that she al!
most never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her
mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and
easier to get along with.
The mother-in-law' s attitude toward Li-Li changed, and she began to
love Li-Li like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives
that Li-Li was the best daughter-in- law one could ever find.
Li-Li and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real
mother and daughter.
Li-Li's husband was very happy to see what was happening.
One day, Li-Li came to see Mr Huang and asked for his help again. She
said, "Dear Mr Huang, please help me to keep the poison from killing my
mother-in-law!
She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother.
I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her".
Mr Huang smiled and nodded his head. "Li-Li, there's nothing to worry
about. I never gave you any poison.
The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only
poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been
all washed away by the love which you gave to her".
THE MORAL OF THE STORY..
How you treat other people is exactly how they will treat you.
There is a wise Chinese saying:
"The person who loves others will also be loved in return. God might be
trying to work in another person's life through you."
Tuesday 4 December 2007
How Men & Women Differ
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.
* What a woman says: C'mon..This place is a mess. You and I need to
clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we
don't do the laundry now.
* What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah,
blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,
blah, blah, NOW
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything
smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on
sale
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
* Women love cats.
* Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
* Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.
* What a woman says: C'mon..This place is a mess. You and I need to
clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we
don't do the laundry now.
* What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah,
blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,
blah, blah, NOW
What do you think? Leave a comment here and we'll see who thinks best. ;)
Sunday 2 December 2007
SEVEN WONDERS OF MALAYSIA BOLEH
Organisers recently announced the seven new wonders of the world. Here
in MALAYSIA Bolihland we have our very own 7 wonders.
1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'
The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees
that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to
be able to own a palace.
2. THE 'BOCOR' PARLIAMENT
The unique feature is its ability to 'leak' away billions of taxpayers
money while the guardians of the nation stood there all wet.
3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON
The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories
and encounters. Reasons No execution was done here before. In fact no
prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with
barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive. Maybe it can
qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.
4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS
The nation's premier eco-tourism park holds the record in the category
of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with
binoculars.
5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does
everything except alleviate floods.
6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA
The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no
internet connection to its
residents.
7. CROOKED 'CROOKED' BRIDGE
The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by a most crooked mind.
Too bad it was abandoned; otherwise it would make it as one of the
wonders.
LATEST 8th WONDER :
1ST MALAYSIAN ASTRO MAN BLASTED OFF TO NOWHERE WITH MILLIONS OF RAKYAT
MONEY BURNT IN 10 DAYS FOR THE MOST EXPENSIVE SPACE EXPEDITION HAS
ENTER INTO THE MALAYSIAN GUINESS BOOK RECORD AT 10 PM ON 0CT 10, 2007.
BRAVO!
( p.s. NO WONDERS - PRICES today had increased "NAIK , NAIK, NAIK " in
2007....look and see....for sure....garanteeeeeee....tahun depan
minyak mestiiiiiiii naik punya....this year cannot naik....sebab sudah
promise-mah...!!!! tahun depan sure naik like soyuz pecut...dasyhat
looo....
HANYA DAP ROCKET - TAK BOLEH NAIK !!
TARGETTED NEXT WONDER:-
THE RUSSIANS ARE LAUGHING... THIS IS GOOD BUSINESS!!! SO THEY ARE
OFFERING ANOTHER TAXI RIDE TO NOWHERE FOR ANOTHER MALAYSIAN ASTRAU-NUT /
ANGKA SAWAN. SO PEOPLE OF MALAYSIA, BE PREPARED TO FORK OUT ANOTHER
RM100 M ++ AND BRACE FOR BARANG2 TERUS NAIK PUNYA BECAUSE WE ARE
PAYING FOR IT....
MALAYSIA MASIH BOLEH (BAYAR) ....OR SO THE GOVERNMENT SAYS.
in MALAYSIA Bolihland we have our very own 7 wonders.
1. THE ZAKARIA 'PALACE'
The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees
that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to
be able to own a palace.
2. THE 'BOCOR' PARLIAMENT
The unique feature is its ability to 'leak' away billions of taxpayers
money while the guardians of the nation stood there all wet.
3. 'UNHAUNTED' KUCHING PRISON
The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories
and encounters. Reasons No execution was done here before. In fact no
prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with
barbed wires to contain souls - both dead and alive. Maybe it can
qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.
4. PAYA INDAH 'WASTED' WETLANDS
The nation's premier eco-tourism park holds the record in the category
of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with
binoculars.
5. 'NOT SO' SMART TUNNEL
Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does
everything except alleviate floods.
6. 'DISCONNECTED' CYBERJAYA
The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no
internet connection to its
residents.
7. CROOKED 'CROOKED' BRIDGE
The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by a most crooked mind.
Too bad it was abandoned; otherwise it would make it as one of the
wonders.
LATEST 8th WONDER :
1ST MALAYSIAN ASTRO MAN BLASTED OFF TO NOWHERE WITH MILLIONS OF RAKYAT
MONEY BURNT IN 10 DAYS FOR THE MOST EXPENSIVE SPACE EXPEDITION HAS
ENTER INTO THE MALAYSIAN GUINESS BOOK RECORD AT 10 PM ON 0CT 10, 2007.
BRAVO!
( p.s. NO WONDERS - PRICES today had increased "NAIK , NAIK, NAIK " in
2007....look and see....for sure....garanteeeeeee....tahun depan
minyak mestiiiiiiii naik punya....this year cannot naik....sebab sudah
promise-mah...!!!! tahun depan sure naik like soyuz pecut...dasyhat
looo....
HANYA DAP ROCKET - TAK BOLEH NAIK !!
TARGETTED NEXT WONDER:-
THE RUSSIANS ARE LAUGHING... THIS IS GOOD BUSINESS!!! SO THEY ARE
OFFERING ANOTHER TAXI RIDE TO NOWHERE FOR ANOTHER MALAYSIAN ASTRAU-NUT /
ANGKA SAWAN. SO PEOPLE OF MALAYSIA, BE PREPARED TO FORK OUT ANOTHER
RM100 M ++ AND BRACE FOR BARANG2 TERUS NAIK PUNYA BECAUSE WE ARE
PAYING FOR IT....
MALAYSIA MASIH BOLEH (BAYAR) ....OR SO THE GOVERNMENT SAYS.
Friday 23 November 2007
Pretty Women!!! 美女!!!
When we are sitting down near a playground, a Pretty Women appeared....
当我们坐在一个靠儿童游乐场的时候，一个美女经过。。。
当我们坐在一个靠儿童游乐场的时候，一个美女经过。。。
Tuesday 20 November 2007
網路大戰 Internet War - Namewee 明志
Namewee, the creator of a list of controversial videos, namely Negarakuku, Kawanku, Muar Chinese, etc had just launched a new video with the title "Internet War".
网络歌手黄明志在发行了几首备受争议的歌曲后，又有最新进展了。他目前推出了最新的歌曲，“网络大战”。
Comments are welcome. Thank you.
敬请留言。谢谢。
网络歌手黄明志在发行了几首备受争议的歌曲后，又有最新进展了。他目前推出了最新的歌曲，“网络大战”。
Comments are welcome. Thank you.
敬请留言。谢谢。
The Chief Judge of Malaysia's Scandal - EarthExplode.Org
This is a video about the scandal of the judisuary in Malaysia.
The story is where a Malaysian lawyer is able to appoint judges.
Feel free to leave your comment. ;)
The story is where a Malaysian lawyer is able to appoint judges.
Feel free to leave your comment. ;)
Saturday 17 November 2007
Malaysian Astronauts - Hilarious!
American Spaceman is called Astronaut
Russian Spaceman is called Cosmonaut
Chinese Spaceman is called Taikonaut
Malaysian Spaceman??? - Can-or-naut
Dr. M was thinking about sending somebody into space. Three potential can-or-nauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission. How much do you think you should be paid?"
Muthu replied: "One million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Very dangerous mission, Datuk. Maybe no come back!" replied Muthu.
"That's understandable," says Dr. M. "Thank you..
Please ask the Malay guy to come here,"
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Alamak!...2 million, Datuk," replied the Malay candidate.
"Two million? That's twice as much! Even the aneh before you asked for only one million."
"You see, Datuk," explains Mat, "I have 4 wives and 15 children ... With 20 of us, it is a big family to support when I am gone...!"
"I see," says Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask that Chinese guy to come then?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, given this is a very risky mission, how much do you want?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and says, "3 million."
Mahathir appears shocked. "What?!? 3 million!
"Why so much?"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer. He quietly whispers into his ear, "Datuk, one million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send that aneh into space lah!"
Russian Spaceman is called Cosmonaut
Chinese Spaceman is called Taikonaut
Malaysian Spaceman??? - Can-or-naut
Dr. M was thinking about sending somebody into space. Three potential can-or-nauts were called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay and one Chinese.
Dr. M interviews the Indian first: "So, Muthu, this is a dangerous mission. How much do you think you should be paid?"
Muthu replied: "One million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Dr. M.
"Very dangerous mission, Datuk. Maybe no come back!" replied Muthu.
"That's understandable," says Dr. M. "Thank you..
Please ask the Malay guy to come here,"
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Alamak!...2 million, Datuk," replied the Malay candidate.
"Two million? That's twice as much! Even the aneh before you asked for only one million."
"You see, Datuk," explains Mat, "I have 4 wives and 15 children ... With 20 of us, it is a big family to support when I am gone...!"
"I see," says Dr. M. "Okay, can you ask that Chinese guy to come then?"
The Chinese guy comes in and Dr. M asks, "Ah Chong, given this is a very risky mission, how much do you want?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and says, "3 million."
Mahathir appears shocked. "What?!? 3 million!
"Why so much?"
Ah Chong beckons Dr. M to come closer. He quietly whispers into his ear, "Datuk, one million you keep, one million I keep, and then one more million to send that aneh into space lah!"
Saturday 27 October 2007
A true story about 2 sons, Proton and Perodua
Once, there was a family known as Malaysia. In 1985, they were blessed with their first born, Proton. The family loved Proton all they can. They gave Proton everything. They protected Proton from the bigger boys in Kindergarten. They told Proton, "You're young, you need protection from them. It's okay to make mistakes, you're young. Even if you don't learn from mistakes...it's okay...you are young."
Proton became spoilt. He always depended on parents and used up all his allowance on useless things. When he had to do his chores, he paid people to do it and the work is lousy, causing the parents having to call repairmen to fix all the mess that he made.
Anyway, when Proton was 10 (but he still acted like he is 1 or 2 years old), he had a younger brother, Perodua. At first, everyone thought this younger brother will be like Proton. Anyway, this new baby was more > >> handsome and looks smarter than Proton. Malaysia knew there is a possibility Perodua could be smarter than Proton. Since they love
Proton so much, they decided that Perodua can only learn a few things. cannot learn the same thing as Proton. This is so that Perodua wouldn't beat Proton at what Proton is doing.
Although Perodua was also protected by Malaysia, he learn to be independent very fast. He made good friends with Daihatsu, who had an elder brother Toyota. The two of them helped Perodua in everything. Perodua, being independent and smart, learnt a lot and in a short while, was becoming as good as, if not better, than Proton.
Malaysia realized that Perodua was becoming better than his brother. Although proud of Perodua, they still love Proton best. They paid Lotus(which is older and well known worldwide) to be friends with Proton. Using this advantage, Proton mentioned Lotus everytime he wanted to tell people about himself. On this own, he was still the same.
Moreover, Proton is always not updated. When doing his work, he still uses the typewriter and refuses to use the computer. Perodua, so much younger, used the computer, with broadband for his work. Perodua was improving so much that Toyota has assigned him with his work, codename Avanza.
2005. Proton is 20 years old, Perodua only 10. It was obvious that Perodua was the more successful of the two siblings. What is worse, Proton said he still need his parents to help him for another 10 years. He still need to protection from the big boys. In May 2005, Perodua was about to show Malaysia his best work so far...codename Myvi.
Proton, being jealous...quickly came up with an unprofessional remark about Perodua's work and show his work at the same time as Perodua on purpose The future of Malaysia and her two kids are still unknown. But it would be obvious that Perodua will shine, leaving Proton crying. It would be a wonder if in 2015, Proton will ask Malaysia for another 10 years of help and protection...maybe this time...protection from Perodua as
well...........THE END
Proton became spoilt. He always depended on parents and used up all his allowance on useless things. When he had to do his chores, he paid people to do it and the work is lousy, causing the parents having to call repairmen to fix all the mess that he made.
Anyway, when Proton was 10 (but he still acted like he is 1 or 2 years old), he had a younger brother, Perodua. At first, everyone thought this younger brother will be like Proton. Anyway, this new baby was more > >> handsome and looks smarter than Proton. Malaysia knew there is a possibility Perodua could be smarter than Proton. Since they love
Proton so much, they decided that Perodua can only learn a few things. cannot learn the same thing as Proton. This is so that Perodua wouldn't beat Proton at what Proton is doing.
Although Perodua was also protected by Malaysia, he learn to be independent very fast. He made good friends with Daihatsu, who had an elder brother Toyota. The two of them helped Perodua in everything. Perodua, being independent and smart, learnt a lot and in a short while, was becoming as good as, if not better, than Proton.
Malaysia realized that Perodua was becoming better than his brother. Although proud of Perodua, they still love Proton best. They paid Lotus(which is older and well known worldwide) to be friends with Proton. Using this advantage, Proton mentioned Lotus everytime he wanted to tell people about himself. On this own, he was still the same.
Moreover, Proton is always not updated. When doing his work, he still uses the typewriter and refuses to use the computer. Perodua, so much younger, used the computer, with broadband for his work. Perodua was improving so much that Toyota has assigned him with his work, codename Avanza.
2005. Proton is 20 years old, Perodua only 10. It was obvious that Perodua was the more successful of the two siblings. What is worse, Proton said he still need his parents to help him for another 10 years. He still need to protection from the big boys. In May 2005, Perodua was about to show Malaysia his best work so far...codename Myvi.
Proton, being jealous...quickly came up with an unprofessional remark about Perodua's work and show his work at the same time as Perodua on purpose The future of Malaysia and her two kids are still unknown. But it would be obvious that Perodua will shine, leaving Proton crying. It would be a wonder if in 2015, Proton will ask Malaysia for another 10 years of help and protection...maybe this time...protection from Perodua as
well...........THE END
Monday 8 October 2007
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Wednesday 3 October 2007
The 11st Husband - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"Your're with the "GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get
SCREWED."
For more jokes, please visit EarthExplode.Org
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times.?"
"Well, husband#1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was suppose to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method.
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it.
"Husband # 9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........ God I miss him.
" But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?
"Your're with the "GOVERNMENT"..
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get
SCREWED."
For more jokes, please visit EarthExplode.Org
Monday 1 October 2007
Vote For Us at the Start Up Nation's Home Based 100 Ranking Greenest Bussiness!!
Please vote for us! We are very environmental friendly. Please save the environment. Recycle, think before you throw, you can make a difference to prevent the Earth from Exploding as a result of the acts of unscrupulous humans (which doesn't include us). We human destroys the Earth TOO MUCH! Its time for us to pay back to mother nature before its TOO LATE! (who knows, Earth may Explode some day...)
Please save mother nature. Vote for us HERE! Thanks in advance!
Please save mother nature. Vote for us HERE! Thanks in advance!
Add Maths Form 5 2007 Folio - EarthExplode.Org
I had uploaded the complete Microsoft Word formatted folio for everyone to download. Guaranteed to get A1! ;-) Check it out at EarthExplode.Org - Malacca High School
Flash Games - EarthExplode.Org
Hi everybody, want to play some awsome free flash games? check out EarthExplode.Org to Play Tonnes of FREE Cool Flash Games! Click HERE!
Tuesday 18 September 2007
Tiger Siblings - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
Long Long time ago, in the Tiger Kingdom lived a pair of siblings.
Both were blessed with some gifts.
Brother had a pair of eyes who could see a distance far far away
Sister had a pair of ears who could listen to anything
They grew up together and experienced happiness and sadness together.
They like to run to the hills to play. Brother would look at far away
countries and tell the sister the majestic view that he see. Sister
would listen to the beautiful sounds and describe for the brother.
As time goes by, brother and sister started to fall in love with each
other. They knew that it was wrong, but they could not control
themselves. They continued to love each other.
Alas, their parents found out about it. Father was very mad, mother was
very sad. The neighbours would point fingers at them and gossip about
them. Brother and sister were adamant about their love for each other.
To prove that they were truly in love with each other, Brother
destroyed his eyes and Sister destroyed her ears. They felt that
since they could not get the blessings, they did not want the gifts...
Long long after, a musician heard this beautiful love story and was
touched by it. He decided to compose a song for the lovers.
I came across this song and it touched my heart too. However, I did
not buy his CD, so I cannot share with you the lovely song.
I remembered the lyrics though, and will share with you how touching
this song is... enjoy..
(in chinese)
Liang zhi lao hu, Liang zhi lao hu （两只老虎，两只老虎）
Pao de kuai, pao de kaui （跑得快，跑得快）
Yi zhi mei you yan jing, yi zhi mei you er duo （一只没有眼睛，一只没有耳朵）
Zhen qi guai, zhen qi guai.... （真奇怪，真奇怪）
For more jokes, check out EarthExplode.Org
Both were blessed with some gifts.
Brother had a pair of eyes who could see a distance far far away
Sister had a pair of ears who could listen to anything
They grew up together and experienced happiness and sadness together.
They like to run to the hills to play. Brother would look at far away
countries and tell the sister the majestic view that he see. Sister
would listen to the beautiful sounds and describe for the brother.
As time goes by, brother and sister started to fall in love with each
other. They knew that it was wrong, but they could not control
themselves. They continued to love each other.
Alas, their parents found out about it. Father was very mad, mother was
very sad. The neighbours would point fingers at them and gossip about
them. Brother and sister were adamant about their love for each other.
To prove that they were truly in love with each other, Brother
destroyed his eyes and Sister destroyed her ears. They felt that
since they could not get the blessings, they did not want the gifts...
Long long after, a musician heard this beautiful love story and was
touched by it. He decided to compose a song for the lovers.
I came across this song and it touched my heart too. However, I did
not buy his CD, so I cannot share with you the lovely song.
I remembered the lyrics though, and will share with you how touching
this song is... enjoy..
(in chinese)
Liang zhi lao hu, Liang zhi lao hu （两只老虎，两只老虎）
Pao de kuai, pao de kaui （跑得快，跑得快）
Yi zhi mei you yan jing, yi zhi mei you er duo （一只没有眼睛，一只没有耳朵）
Zhen qi guai, zhen qi guai.... （真奇怪，真奇怪）
For more jokes, check out EarthExplode.Org
Poison Husband - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the chemist, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked,
"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied,
"I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed,
"Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband
in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
For more jokes, check out EarthExplode.Org
"I would like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked,
"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied,
"I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed,
"Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband
in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,
"Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
For more jokes, check out EarthExplode.Org
Monday 17 September 2007
Check out EarthExplode.Org Toolbar with lots of features!
EarthExplode.Org Toolbar has tones of features which are available and more are coming soon!
Some Features of EarthExplode.Org Toolbar:-
-Effective Pop-Up Blocker
-Powerful Search Engine, Powered by Google
-Get the Latest News Feed Directly
-E-mail Notifier for Hotmail, Yahoo, GMail and POP3 Email
-Local Weather Report
-Get Access to FREE Legal Music Downloading & Tips for YouTube Video Downloads
-FREE Online Radio from Any Station
-NO Spyware, NO Adware, NO Malware, NO Pop-Up & Personal Information Will NOT Be Taken
-Get Access to Cheap Electrical & IT Store, Jokes site, the Latest Tech News and many more!
Download it TODAY at EarthExplode.Org!
Some Features of EarthExplode.Org Toolbar:-
-Effective Pop-Up Blocker
-Powerful Search Engine, Powered by Google
-Get the Latest News Feed Directly
-E-mail Notifier for Hotmail, Yahoo, GMail and POP3 Email
-Local Weather Report
-Get Access to FREE Legal Music Downloading & Tips for YouTube Video Downloads
-FREE Online Radio from Any Station
-NO Spyware, NO Adware, NO Malware, NO Pop-Up & Personal Information Will NOT Be Taken
-Get Access to Cheap Electrical & IT Store, Jokes site, the Latest Tech News and many more!
Download it TODAY at EarthExplode.Org!
Saturday 15 September 2007
World’s Smallest Camcorder from Sony to Enter the Market - EarthExplode.Org
Introducing the new Handycam® CX7EK (HDR-CX7EK) by Sony, the first Memory Stick capable Handycam® camcorder that records high-definition videos and captures up to 6.1 mega pixels of still images in various Memory Stick™ media including the Memory Stick™ PRO DUO, Memory Stick™ PRO-HG DUO and Memory Stick™ Micro.
Introducing the new Handycam® CX7EK (HDR-CX7EK) by Sony, the first Memory Stick capable Handycam® camcorder that records high-definition videos and captures up to 6.1 mega pixels of still images in various Memory Stick™ media including the Memory Stick™ PRO DUO, Memory Stick™ PRO-HG DUO and Memory Stick™ Micro.
More info at EarthExplode.Org!
Introducing the new Handycam® CX7EK (HDR-CX7EK) by Sony, the first Memory Stick capable Handycam® camcorder that records high-definition videos and captures up to 6.1 mega pixels of still images in various Memory Stick™ media including the Memory Stick™ PRO DUO, Memory Stick™ PRO-HG DUO and Memory Stick™ Micro.
More info at EarthExplode.Org!
DOWNLOAD FREE LEGAL MUSIC NOW! Free tips for Downloading YouTube Videos Coming Soon!
DOWNLOAD FREE LEGAL MUSIC NOW!
FREE tips for Downloading YouTube Videos COMING SOON!!
Check out our MUSIC & VIDEO Section.
Saturday 8 September 2007
Origin of 'Negaraku'......
Are you a Malaysian? Have you ever noticed that Malaysia's national anthem is not original? From what we had learned in our History textbook, the national anthem, 'Negaraku' is chosen and taken from the Perak state anthem, 'Terang Bulan'. It was handpicked by Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Al-Haj, the first prime minister of Malaysia.
However, have you ever noticed that actually the state anthem of Perak was not original also? The melody and some lyrics are actually taken from a popular Indonesian hits song at that time, also named 'Terang Bulan'. But the lyrics are rather awkward and funny. Check it out:-
I think it is rather cute as the lyrics says that "Jangan percaya mulutlah lelaki,
Berani sumpah 'tapi takut mati.", which means "don't believe in a man's word, as they dare to promise, but are coward and are afraid to die, which indirectly means thay can't keep their promises."
This is the video of the song, Terang Bulan:-
Actually, there are lots of versions of 'Terang Bulan' during that time, the version above is just one of the earliest version. There is another rock version of it. Enjoy it here:-
While we are enjoying the Indonesian song, we should have known that they aren't fit to create the high standard and classy feeling of the melody. So they must have copied it from somewhere else also. At last, let the truth behold! The melody actually came from an American-Hawaiian Song, 'Mamula Moon'. Are you excited about hearing the song 'Mamula Moon'? Not to worry, I have it right here:-
Besides that, we also have the much controversial 'NegaraKUKU' which is now being monitored by the government, so I think it is inappropriate to post that video here. Anyway, there is a NEW VERSION of our national anthem, but it is edited by someone unknown on the web. This latest version is less sensitive compared to the former, but quite nice also. It has Mandarin and English subtitles:-
Before I end this entry, I have to clarify something first. I don't intend to post this entry to stir up any sensitive issues or whatever. I am also not responsible for the content of the videos posted here, as I am not the creator of the videos. My intention is just to let every Malaysian know the truth of our Malaysian national anthem's history.
Finally, EarthExplode.Org whishes Malaysia 'Happy 50th Birthday!'
However, have you ever noticed that actually the state anthem of Perak was not original also? The melody and some lyrics are actually taken from a popular Indonesian hits song at that time, also named 'Terang Bulan'. But the lyrics are rather awkward and funny. Check it out:-
"Terang bulan,
Terang bulan di kali,
Buaya timbul disangkalah mati.
Jangan percaya mulutlah lelaki,
Berani sumpah 'tapi takut mati.
Jangan percaya mulutlah lelaki,
Berani sumpah 'tapi takut mati."
I think it is rather cute as the lyrics says that "Jangan percaya mulutlah lelaki,
Berani sumpah 'tapi takut mati.", which means "don't believe in a man's word, as they dare to promise, but are coward and are afraid to die, which indirectly means thay can't keep their promises."
This is the video of the song, Terang Bulan:-
Actually, there are lots of versions of 'Terang Bulan' during that time, the version above is just one of the earliest version. There is another rock version of it. Enjoy it here:-
While we are enjoying the Indonesian song, we should have known that they aren't fit to create the high standard and classy feeling of the melody. So they must have copied it from somewhere else also. At last, let the truth behold! The melody actually came from an American-Hawaiian Song, 'Mamula Moon'. Are you excited about hearing the song 'Mamula Moon'? Not to worry, I have it right here:-
Besides that, we also have the much controversial 'NegaraKUKU' which is now being monitored by the government, so I think it is inappropriate to post that video here. Anyway, there is a NEW VERSION of our national anthem, but it is edited by someone unknown on the web. This latest version is less sensitive compared to the former, but quite nice also. It has Mandarin and English subtitles:-
Before I end this entry, I have to clarify something first. I don't intend to post this entry to stir up any sensitive issues or whatever. I am also not responsible for the content of the videos posted here, as I am not the creator of the videos. My intention is just to let every Malaysian know the truth of our Malaysian national anthem's history.
Finally, EarthExplode.Org whishes Malaysia 'Happy 50th Birthday!'
Malaysia - 1957 - Celebrating 50 Years of Nationhood - Malaysiaku Gemilang
Malacca High School - Estd 1826 - Celebrating 180 Years of Excellence - Meliora Hic Sequamor
Apple unveils iPod touch - EarthExplode.Org
The new iPod touch introduced today features built-in Wi-Fi networking and a revolutionary multi-touch user interface—first introduced on iPhone—that makes it easy to find all of your music, video, and other digital content and enjoy it on the gorgeous widescreen display on iPod touch. The multi-touch interface uses pioneering new software to present the perfect user interface for Safari, Apple’s YouTube application, and the new iTunes Wi-Fi Music Store—all of which come with iPod touch. An unbelievable 8mm thin, iPod touch features up to 22 hours of audio playback and up to five hours of video playback. Available later this month, iPod touch comes in 8GB and 16GB models for $299 and $399, respectively.
Guided tour:-
Guided tour:-
For more info, please check out www.EarthExplode.Org
Wednesday 5 September 2007
爸，我回来了 - Jay Chow Song - by Namewee - EarthExplode.Org
This is the video of Jay Chow or 周杰伦/ 周董 few years ago. It was sang by Namewee during his school's activity.
Download YouTube Videos? Check out www.EarthExplode.Org!
Download YouTube Videos? Check out www.EarthExplode.Org!
NegaraKUKUKU (NEW version) - EarthExplode.Org
This is the NEW VERSION of the much controversial 'Negarakuku' video. But this video is much moderate compared to the former, with more critics but in a mild way. This video also touch less on religion issues, which is more suitable to be viewed by Malaysian public.
Download YouTube Videos? Check out http://www.earthexplode.org/!
Monday 3 September 2007
盗版之王-黄明志-个人专辑全国发行-敬请期待9月3号-EarthExplode.Org
Namewee's latest video, which will be included in his latest ORIGINAL EP.
http://www.earthexplode.org/
http://www.earthexplode.org/
Nokia's Answer to Apple's iPhone - EarthExplode.Org
This is the video of Nokia's latest phone, which has similar functions to the iPhone. Nokia launches this phone to compete with Apple's hot selling iPhone. More information to come.
For more info, please check out http://www.earthexplode.org/
For more info, please check out http://www.earthexplode.org/
Saturday 1 September 2007
Zodiac - EarthExplode.Org
Dear All,
It would better if we lean by heart all these line zodiac. for ourselves and friends.
VIRGO - The PerfectionistDominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
SCORPIO - The Intense OneVery energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
ARIES – TheDaredevil Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
LEO - The BossVery organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
CANCER - The ProtectorMoody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
PISCES - The Dreamer Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
CAPRICORN - The Go-GetterPatient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendl y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
TAURUS - The Enduring One Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky OneGood-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
www.EarthExplode.Org
It would better if we lean by heart all these line zodiac. for ourselves and friends.
VIRGO - The PerfectionistDominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.
SCORPIO - The Intense OneVery energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.
LIBRA - The Harmonizer Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.
ARIES – TheDaredevil Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.
AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.
LEO - The BossVery organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. D oing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.
CANCER - The ProtectorMoody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.
PISCES - The Dreamer Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.
CAPRICORN - The Go-GetterPatient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimists. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendl y at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
TAURUS - The Enduring One Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky OneGood-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.
www.EarthExplode.Org
Friday 31 August 2007
MAY BANK ATM FRAUD - EarthExplode.Org
Maybank Account Holder Please Read...
Whoever has the Maybank account number with ATM card, please be
careful when withdrawing money through ATM machine,
1. For the first time when you enter the right pin number, a
message "invalid pin number" pops up.
2. Then, when you enter your pin number for the second time, a
message "invalid pin number, please call this number "xxx-xxxx"
pops up.
3. If you call this number, you will lose all your money.
NOTE : if you encounter the above matter, please DO NOT call
the number. One of victim just lost RM ! 700.00 on last Sunday
and Maybank checked his
last transaction was on that day itself even though he did not
withdraw any money. Please forward this to your friends.
www.EarthExplode.Org
Whoever has the Maybank account number with ATM card, please be
careful when withdrawing money through ATM machine,
1. For the first time when you enter the right pin number, a
message "invalid pin number" pops up.
2. Then, when you enter your pin number for the second time, a
message "invalid pin number, please call this number "xxx-xxxx"
pops up.
3. If you call this number, you will lose all your money.
NOTE : if you encounter the above matter, please DO NOT call
the number. One of victim just lost RM ! 700.00 on last Sunday
and Maybank checked his
last transaction was on that day itself even though he did not
withdraw any money. Please forward this to your friends.
www.EarthExplode.Org
Good Old Fred - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
Old Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Old Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Old Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Old Fred died. He said, " You know,Old Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred,I'm sure there are words of inspiration for us all". He opened the note, and read,"Hey,you're standing on my oxygen tube!".
More jokes at www.EarthExplode.Org
Wednesday 29 August 2007
Divorce Letters - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case...I'm gone!
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week...and actually the first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl"...
but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed:
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.
You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the case...I'm gone!
Signed,
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband:
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week...and actually the first thing that came to my mind was "You look just like a girl"...
but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed:
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister 'Carla',,,was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.
For more jokes, please visit www.EarthExplode.Org
Monday 27 August 2007
Upgrade System (upgrade from boyfriend to husband) - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
Dear IT Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate Housewife
Reply:
Dear Desperate Housewife,
First keep in mind:
Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download
Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.
If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.
Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another
Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.
Good Luck,
IT Support
For more jokes, please visit www.EarthExplode.Org
Memo on Training - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
Important Memo to all Employees
Memo to All Employees
In order to ensure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep alemployees well trained through
our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T) .
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please
see your supervisor . You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T list and our supervisor s are especially skilled at seeing you get
all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who don ' t take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T) .
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).
Since our supervisor s took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don ' t
have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T , you may be interested in a job teaching
others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T) . This course emphasizes how to manage
M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T) .
Thank you.
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T)
P.S.: Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their lives,
just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T . I have already had my
fill of S.H.I.T.
Thank you for your time!
Sincerely
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
(The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T)
For more jokes, please visit www.EarthExplode.Org
Cute Koala - EarthExplode.Org Jokes
A koala was sitting in a gum tree...... smoking a joint
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,
"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"
The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala
where they enjoyed a few joints.
After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry"
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
"What ' s the matter with you?"
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked
into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
"Hey you!"
So the koala looked down at him and said,
"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude.....
How much water did you drink?!!"
For more jokes, please go to www.EarthExplode.Org
when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said,
"Hey Koala! What are you doing?"
The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala
where they enjoyed a few joints.
After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was "dry"
and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far
over and fell into the river.
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and
helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard,
"What ' s the matter with you?"
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he
was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree,
got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked
into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was
sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
"Hey you!"
So the koala looked down at him and said,
"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude.....
How much water did you drink?!!"
For more jokes, please go to www.EarthExplode.Org
Apple Unveils New iMac
11 August 2007 - Apple® today unveiled an all new all-in-one iMac® line featuring gorgeous 20- and 24-inch widescreen displays encased in elegant and professional aluminum and glass enclosures. The entire new iMac line features the latest Intel Core 2 Duo processors and a new, ultra-thin aluminum Apple Keyboard, built-in iSight® video camera for video conferencing and iLife® ’08, making it the ultimate digital lifestyle desktop computer for both consumers and professionals. The 20-inch iMac now starts at just $1,199, $300 less than the previous 20-inch model, and the 24-inch iMac starts at just $1,799, $200 less than the previous 24-inch model.
For more info, please go to www.EarthExplode.Org
Apple Enhances .Mac
11 August 2007 - Apple® today announced significant enhancements to its .Mac online service, highlighted by the debut of .Mac Web Gallery, a new feature for sharing photos and movies on the Internet. .Mac Web Gallery lets members easily share photos and movies directly from iLife® ’08 with anyone on a Mac®, PC or iPhone™ in stunning quality. In addition, .Mac Web Gallery visitors can download high quality images for printing and even contribute photos using a standard web browser or email. Other new .Mac features include a tenfold increase in .Mac storage to 10GB, support for personal domains for iWeb™ websites and enhancements to .Mac Mail.
For more info, please go to http://www.earthexplode.org/
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